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Stand Firm, Grow or Fly Free with Balanced Negative and Positive Core Beliefs
Typical negative core beliefs
Most people have different unbalanced or negative beliefs. Although we may "believe" them (and yet be unaware of them) the good news is that today they are largely false beliefs.
The overall pattern
Almost all negative core beliefs are connected in a broad way with a feeling of lost self worth or of " not being good enough because ................." but it is the words that follow this phrase which are the most powerful.
They describe your core issue and those two or three words can set up a negative pattern that you will bond to and repeat throughout your life, until you can balance them with a positive pattern. There are hundreds of these beliefs as you can see from the long list on this page (and these are only examples).
Broad negative core beliefs or feelings about myself:
1. Not good enough (I am not safe)
2. Not good enough (I don’t belong)
3. Not good enough (I have no value, I am worthless)
4. Not good enough ( I am powerless)
5. Not good enough (I am wrong, I am unsure)
6. Not good enough (My life is out of balance)
7. Not good enough (I don’t exist; I am nothing)
8. Not good enough (I am not real)
9. Not good enough (I am unlovable; unwanted)
10. Not good enough (I am defective)
11. Not good enough (I am not whole I have lost my spirit)
Within these broad belief patterns, however, are hundreds of different, personal variations. It is when you start to identify your own that things become much clearer about many of the major issues in your life. (See examples below)
NOTE: A core belief is always an internal "I" statement as in "I am unlovable"; "I can't "
A supporting belief is a similar prediction about what other people will or won’t do to you. It is not a core belief but is closely linked. A belief that "Nobody loves me" is a supporting belief', a prediction or forecast about what others will do or have done to you.
For example an untrue core belief like "I am unlovable" helps make other people react to you in negative ways. This helps to give the core belief the appearance of being true. (A self fulfilling prophecy.) If it were not for the core belief we may have been able to accept love and be loved.
Book N-1 "Understanding your Negative Core Beliefs"
Book N-2 Core Belief Balancing includes a set of step by step worksheets that have been thoroughly "road tested" by over 1500 clients. Completing these worksheets in your own time and in private will enable you to identify your own particular core beliefs. As you work through the pages you will develop a much greater awareness of your core beliefs and how you are triggered. You also become aware of the way your automatic protectors (your inner selves) react to triggers and as a result how they control your life and play havoc with your relationships.
Book N-3 is a Workbook on How to then Balance your Core beliefs
Book N-4 has more ideas for Balancing
Here are just some of the typical negative core beliefs I have helped clients to balance. At the foot of this page are notes about a few specially interesting ones.
1. Not good enough (I am not safe)
I’m unprotected
I am afraid
I am vulnerable
I am helpless
Supporting beliefs and predictions
Nobody will protect me
Linked Issues
Safety; Security; Peace; harmony; vulnerability; protection
2. Not good enough (I don’t belong)
I am unwelcome
I don’t fit in anywhere
I am lost
I am all alone
I can’t help myself
I am unwanted
I should not be here at all
Supporting beliefs and predictions
Nobody wants to know about me
Linked Issues
Belonging; Connection; self-nurturing
3. Not good enough (I have no value, I am worthless)
I am disposable
I am unworthy
I am not worth anything
I am not interesting enough
I am no good
I never come first
I always come second
I’m nothing
I’m not valuable
I am uninteresting
I am unimportant
I’m not anybody
Supporting beliefs and predictions
Nobody values me
Nobody cares about me
People who say nice things to me don’t mean them
Linked Issues
Self worth; Loyalty, Difficulty giving or receiving gifts, congratulations, love or appreciation;
4. Not good enough (I am powerless)
I am incompetent
I am not any good
I am unsuccessful
I am inferior
I can’t control anything
I am disposable
I am unworthy
I can’t achieve
I can’t change
There is no way out for me
I will fail
Supporting beliefs and predictions
Other people manipulate me and control my life
I am trapped and cannot escape
Linked issues
Achievement; Boundaries; Standards; Structure; Success; Goals, Results; Being organised, Self empowerment; ability to make changes; bonding patterns; self-protection; avoiding manipulation;
5. Not good enough (I am wrong, I am unsure)
I don’t know
I always get it wrong
I am always wrong
I am confused
I can’t understand
I’m not understood
I can’t be sure
I am in the wrong place
I am a mistake
I am unaware
I am uncertain
I can’t make myself clear
I am mistaken
I am not trustworthy
Supporting beliefs and predictions
It isn’t fair
I won’t get justice
I can’t trust people
People don’t trust me
Linked Issues
Truth; Right-wrong; Justice; Fairness; Openness and honesty; Trust and Trustworthiness; Integrity; Understanding
6. Not good enough (My life is out of balance)
I am unbalanced
I am out of control
I can’t be moderate
I always get it wrong
Nothing works for me
I stuff up everything I do
I am a klutz
I can’t fix it
Everything I do goes wrong
I attract trouble
I have ruined my whole life
I can’t get it right
I am in the wrong place
I can’t make it work (klutz)
I can’t fix it
I will never be able to fix it up
Supporting beliefs and predictions
Other people have to fix my life for me
Wherever I am I don’t like it. I need to move
Linked Issues
Success; Fixing problems; Solutions; Achievement;
7. Not good enough (I am defective)
It’s my fault
I am guilty
I am bad
I am not whole
I am imperfect
I am unattractive
I am flawed
I am stupid
I am awkward
I am slow
I can’t be me
I am hopeless
I’m not true
I’m dirty
I am ugly
I am fat
I’m shameful
I am unclean
I am useless
I am a reject
I am crazy
I am unbalanced
I will fail
I am a failure
I am a loser
I will lose
I don’t deserve to be loved
I don’t deserve to be cared for
I don’t deserve anything
There’s something wrong with me
Supporting beliefs and predictions
People can tell there is something wrong with me
Linked Issues
Integrity; Reason; Balancing giving and receiving; Emotional age; Growth; Avoiding “flips” between opposite positions
7. Not good enough (I don’t exist, I am nothing)
I am nothing
I am worthless
I am invisible
I don’t exist
I’m nothing
I’m not anybody
I am insignificant
I am not enough
I am not recognised
Supporting beliefs and predictions
People cannot see me
Linked Issues
Recognition; Being who I really am; My history; My knowledge; My experience; Self-awareness; My doings are not my beings (Who I am is not what I do)
8. Not good enough (I am not real)
I am a fake
I don’t know what is real
I am unsuitable
I am not true
I don’t know who I really am
Supporting beliefs and predictions
People will find out that I am a fake
Linked Issues
Freedom; Autonomy; Individuality; intimacy; self-protection; Balancing my personal and impersonal energies
9. Not good enough (I am unlovable; unwanted)
I am not lovable
I am unacceptable
I am always left out
I don’t matter
I am not special
I am not wanted
I don’t matter
I am alone
I am unwelcome
I don’t fit in anywhere
I am unsuitable
I am uninteresting
I am unimportant
I am plain and dull
Supporting beliefs and predictions
Nobody loves me
Nobody wants me
Linked Issues
Caring; Sharing; Unconditional loving; Balancing my giving and receiving;
10. Not good enough (I am defective)
I am no good
I am bad
I am crazy
I am broken
I am unfixable, unrepairable
I cannot be healed
I am doomed
I am going to die early in life
I am damaged (goods)
I am mentally defective
I am emotionally crippled
I am emotionally defective
I have a mental problem
Supporting beliefs and predictions
I am hurting, in pain
People can see that I am defective
Someone else will heal, fix or repair me
Unless you heal me I will never get better
Nobody can heal my pain
Linked Issues
Self healing, defects; perfection, pain
11. Not good enough (I have lost my spirit)
I am not whole
I have no integrity
I have no hope
I feel hopeless
I have lost my spirit
Nothing good ever happens to me
I am a bad person
I am sinful
I am evil
I can’t grow
Supporting beliefs and predictions
There is nothing to hope for
I must not get my hopes up
Linked Issues
Integrity; Balance Wholeness; Spirit; Self-actualisation; Spirit and spirituality; Personal Growth
Some interesting negative core beliefs:
I am a klutz (awkward)
This is one of my own negative core beliefs. I became aware of its the first time when I was taking part in an amazing week's intensive, training in voice dialogue with Dr Hal Stone and Dr Sidra Stone at Mendocino in California in 1974. I had heard the word "klutz" before but never realised its full significance until this time. I now recognize that I definitely have within me an "inner klutz". As I got to know the core belief better I rephrased it as "I can't fix anything."
I am a schmuk (unsophisticated) - not one of my beliefs but in my mind it seems to be associated with the previous belief.
I have nothing to offer - a client gave me permission to include this one because it was so interesting. Often when I dialogue with a negative core belief it has quite a lot to say (even if it's negative) . This one was incredibly quiet, reinforcing the belief itself. It had nothing to offer.
I can't get anything right. Everything I try to do goes wrong - the problem here was that every time we tried to do the negative core belief balancing process it "went wrong". It took a couple of sessions but the client succeeded in the end. Today it's amazing how many things are going right in that person's life, for the first time. Balancing in this case created a whole new outlook and a new start in life where previously things had consistently been going downhill.
If you would like me to add your own the individual negative core belief here I would be delighted. Just send me an e-mail with what you know or understand about it. bligh4@growingaware.com
But please remember:
1. If it's OK to publish details of your negative core belief on this site please include your permission for this in your e-mail. (Example: This confirms my permission for the following information to be published on the Growing Awareness Series website/s"
2. Even when you do this, it is better not to include your full name in any material that will be published on the Internet. But it's great to include just your first name or a code name. One thing that is important is your general location. Examples: "Molly from Sydney NSW"; "Happy Now - Ontario Canada" or "Davy C, Alamo TX"
ife Issue related to core beliefs
Security Safety
Belonging Nurture Self care
Self worth
Success Power Control
Reality Reason Knowing
Balance Moderation
Identity Recognition
Self awareness
Love, Loved and Loving
Health Self healing
Wholeness Spirit
Explaining Neg Core Beliefs |
Translations |
"F" Reactions |
List of Typical Negative Core Beliefs |
Relationships |
Case of the Stolen Self Esteem |
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