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Stand Firm, Grow or Fly Free with Balanced Negative and Positive Core Beliefs

 Make  positive changes in your life. Make your relationships work.

Core Belief Balancing FREE Book -

 "Understanding your  Core Belief System"

is free and obligation free.

Please e-mail me

bligh4@growingaware.com

and I will e-mail it to you.

Your free book includes a Negative Core Belief Detector Kit. Five minutes work and you can tell:

1. If you have a Negative Core Belief at work inside you

2. How strong its influence is on your life.







This site will interest you if you think your old unbalanced and negative "core beliefs" might be holding you back in life.

Identify  your unbalanced negative core beliefs, your trigger patterns and reactions.

On the This Website

* How to identify your own  unbalanced or negative core beliefs, your trigger patterns and reactions

*Getting rid of feelings of being blocked or clamped by repetitive self-defeating patterns in your life

* Making positive changes in your life the changes you want (the changes that will really make a difference) making changes the way you want to make them and at your own pace.

* Personal growth and freedom through self-awareness, and self-empowerment, increasing the number of positive choices you have in life.

*  Making your relationships work. Partnering skills, developing intimacy, trust and stronger linkage.






General negative core beliefs or feelings about myself:

not good enough (incompetent)

not good enough (unlovable)

unwanted, different

defective, imperfect, bad

powerless, one-below

in danger, not safe

don’t know, wrong


Life Issue related to all core beliefs:

Success

Love

Belonging

self worth

Power and Control

Security

Reality, reason  Sanity

There are couple of hundred examples of Core Beliefs like these, but to balance your own specific negative belief with a positive one you need first to discover what your specific "because" or issue is about. Yours will be different from people around you. There are no common or one-size-fits-all negative core beliefs.


How and why are these old beliefs set up?

Negative Core Beliefs develop as a small child tries to work out a "because" to help them cope with something they just couldn't understand or were troubled by in their daily life. It might be neglect, injustice, dishonest parenting, parents with addictions, bullying, more serious abuse or just regular feelings of vulnerability, fear or shame.


Whatever it is the child feels the need for:

1. A "because" that will help them make sense of and accept what is happening to them

2. A "because" that will help them "fit in" better in their family or at school


The trouble is that the only "because" that seems to work (at that time) is a belief "Because I am not good enough I  am ...(Negative core belief) ... so it must be my fault, not theirs."

If believing this helps the child "fit in" and "make sense" of things that are happening to them, then this "because belief" appears to be working. So it gets reinforced every day and the more it seems to work the more it seems as though it must be "true".

In a functional family environment a child would not have needed to take on such negative beliefs. So in a way you could describe a negative because belief as "the negative belief you needed when you shouldn't have needed a negative belief".  


Some useful information and practical exercises for understanding Negative Core Beliefs and Core Belief Balancing are included in my recently updated Core Belief PDF Series. See the top of this page for information on my free book.

                                  

Within those broad belief patterns, however, are many different variations. Whatever your unbalanced beliefs are, they help to define your unique and individual core issues and these in turn control the way your emotionally younger systems react when those issues are triggered. It's often been said that whatever your most negative core belief about yourself might be, that's the one your parts and patterns will tend most to "dance around".


How your unbalanced core beliefs bind your reality


While you have powerful unbalanced negative beliefs in place, your sense of reality will be so tied up, polarised, bound and distorted that you literally cannot see the positive parts within you. Until you begin the balancing process, you will probably reject, even fight the reality if someone tries to tell you that you have a positive side. This happens so often that one of the easiest ways to identify a core belief is just to ask yourself what kind of compliment (about you) usually makes you feel most uncomfortable.


As a result, you will find it easier to collect ‘evidence’ that seems to prove that your negative core beliefs are true and harder to see any evidence to the contrary! If one of your beliefs is ‘My ideas are not worth listening to’ you will notice every instance where people ignore your advice (and you will be hurt by that). You may totally miss a situation where someone compliments you on a worthwhile suggestion or you may hear it but get no joy from the compliment (you may even devalue it) wondering to yourself. ‘What is he trying to get out of me?’


You will miss the truth because you are so busy trying to cope with the lie. The problem you are trying to get rid of is actually being helped to stay put while you keep desperately chasing after reminders of things you want to forget from your childhood.

You may be almost as busy today, avoiding the gifts you missed out on as a  child! (This process is often observed as a repetitive pattern of negative self-defeating behaviour, RSDP)                                                        

Almost every unbalanced or negative belief we have about ourselves today  seems to be connected in some way with our deepest thoughts or feelings about being:    


• not good enough (incompetent)

• not good enough (unlovable)

• unwanted, different

• defective, imperfect, bad, worthless

• powerless, one-below, undeserving, stuck, can’t

• in danger, not safe

• don’t know, wrong, stupid


Why is this so? Because each one of your emotionally younger systems tend to use the same,  one fixed, automatic, repetitive pattern to try to keep you from feeling the pain connected to a negative belief. Unfortunately, accepting a sincere compliment would also connect you to the same old belief so the same automatic pattern comes in to block positive messages.


Forecasts, predictions and  ‘self-fulfilling prophecies’

This is aptly described as a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’, suggesting that what you expect or predict is more likely to happen because of the things you do to prepare yourself for it. This is more likely whenever your old core beliefs tell you ‘it is going to happen again.’


All old core beliefs are out of balance

As long as you stay stuck under one or more of these old beliefs you stay badly out of balance. Your life will wobble.

To add to the problem, whatever your unique unbalanced beliefs about yourself might be, they will unconsciously attract (towards you) the kind of people whose unbalanced behaviour fits in with your negative beliefs, as if you had a sign above your head inviting the very people who will trigger those beliefs to come in and do just that!


At the same time your beliefs will help you repel or distance from positive people who do not fit in with your beliefs. And this in turn, will shape many of the ways those people then react towards you! In this way, core beliefs control much of your life. They influence major life decisions including your choice of a career and marriage partner, but unfortunately in a less than positive way.

That’s all helping keep you and your life badly out of balance


What is a "trigger" and what is "triggering"?


A trigger can be an event, a specific comment, a specific experience, an action by another person, it can be a particular sight or sound, a sudden flash of a past memory, a tone of voice. Triggers (usually or always) ignite your immediate, strong and automatic reaction or bring on feelings of extreme pain, discomfort, destabilisation, fear, confusion, disappointment or devastation. Some of your triggers have been with you all your life, many have been there since early childhood. Usually, they will set off the same reaction each time you are reminded of the original situation.


All it takes is an event (Example: being ignored) that reminds you of your childhood wounding and your core pain, hearing a familiar phrase (‘you are so helpless’), being touched somewhere on your body, an emotion (someone else’s fear or anger) hearing a piece of music, even a particular aroma (familiar perfume). Even just talking about a painful past event can trigger you.


How do you use voice dialogue and inner self work and voice dialogue to help understand your core beliefs?


Your  free book "Understanding your  Core Belief System"  is free and obligation free.


Your free book includes a Negative Core Belief Detector Kit. Five minutes work and you can tell:

1. If you have a Negative Core Belief at work inside you

2. How strong its influence is on your life.



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Identifying a negative core belief

An unbalanced or negative core belief is a  belief you hold (about yourself) that is something like "Deep down inside I am not good enough.

because I ....... "  


or  “I can’t because I …..  “
or  

“I am a reject because I …….

There are hundreds of different "because I" endings.
There are even several groups of because endings and issues, with dozens of beliefs in each group. None of them are accurate. Most are not true, but telling you this, at this stage won't help much as I explain below.

New in 2017

What are Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACEs?

An adverse childhood experience is an event or a series of events when we were young, that caused us to feel scared, fearful, stressed, alone, very vulnerable, or when we were hurt physically,  emotionally or both.

I recommend talking about ACEs rather than  using terms like “trauma” and “abuse.” Sure, those words accurately describe some of the most  serious childhood events but any experiences that had a strong effect on you in childhood, regardless of what we call them, carry over into adulthood. In particular repeated experiences though less traumatic such as neglect, abandonment, sibling bullying, constant blaming or negating can be just as damaging as a  single traumatic event.

Scientists and skilled health professionals are now discovering that the higher your  total  ACE  score the more problems you can expect in your life. That includes your physical health, body pain, financial problems, relationship break-downs, career issues, high stress, addictions, blockages, boundaries, psychological disorders and more. It now appears that these may all be more like symptoms rather than the core problem. You may really be in the grip of a high ACE score.
Google “Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACE”

 Would you like to discover your own (approximate) ACE score?

It’s free

I am working on a survey which takes about 10-15 minutes and is intended to give you a general idea of how different kinds of ACE events may have affected you and your life.

It still in the design testing stage, so whatever your “score” might be it is only a rough assessment,  but a useful guide.

Please e-mail me and ask for your free copy of my  developing ACE survey. sent by e-mail as a pdf file

bligh4@growingaware.com  

Please head your e-mail “ACE Survey”

By completing the survey you  will  be helping me discover ways to make it work more effectively. But remember it’s only a trial and only a survey, not a valid test.

Your results are yours to work with as you choose. Your score number by itself has absolutely no  significance in clinical terms.

Thanks.


ANOTHER FREE BOOK  

Making Powerful Changes in Your Life -Introduces the next step after core belief balancing.

This new book explains how growing Your Personal Power is the Key. It’s the most important book I have written. It’s free and obligation free.

Please e-mail me
bligh4@growingaware.com

and I will e-mail it to you as a pdf file

Discover how you can:

* overcome blockages that limit your personal growth and success

* make things happen, get things done, the way you want, when and how you want.

* make powerful, positive changes in your life, the changes you have always wanted to make, the changes that make a real difference.

* increase your self confidence as you grow your personal power

* apply your sense of self determination, your power to choose, to decide, to determine  who you are and what you will do with your life.

* discover the person you really are - becoming the true you and realising your potential for living life as the real authentic person you were always meant to be

Read more on my Making Powerful Changes website http://www.keys-to-personal-power.com


You might like  some of my other FREE books.

*  Making Powerful Changes - The key is your Personal Power

*  Loving Your Inner Child

*  Narcissistic Behaviour Patterns -NBP

*  Emotional Age Awareness
All books are in standard PDF format.  
(Sorry, you cannot download them. E-mail request only)

Please E-mail
bligh4@growingaware.com
Sorry  - my bookshop now has more than 21 titles.  I  cannot respond to requests for unnamed free books such as "please send me your free book" or "please send me all your free books"

So, please send me a separate e-mail for each title. Make your e-mail subject heading the actual title of each free book you want and I will e-mail  each one to you individually.


E-mail  bligh4@growingaware.com

All  these books are free and obligation free


You can read more about each free book on each of my other websites:

www.core-beliefs-balance.com  (this  site)

www.keys-to-personal-power.com

www.emotional-age-power.com

narcissistic-behaviour-patterns-nbp.com

www.flyingawareness.com

www.growingaware.net

www.growing-aware.com.au


Websites in my Growing Awareness  and Flying Awareness Series  -  


www.core-beliefs-balance.com

www.keys-to-personal-power.com

www.emotional-age-power.com

narcissistic-behaviour-patterns-nbp.com

www.flyingawareness.com

www.growingaware.net

www.growing-aware.com.au



Recommended sites

www.stepbystepsupport.com.au