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One of the reasons why it's very important to go back and
find out where your untrue belief came from, is because that's the only way that
you going to understand why something so completely untrue could have become so
firmly embedded as an "unquestioned truth".
The second reason has to do with the process as you balance your negative core
belief. You can't get rid of that belief. It is hardwired into your brain cells
and in fact trying to get rid of it only locks it in even more firmly. But you
can balance it.
No sackings No redundancies
However, before you can balance it with a matching positive
believe you do have to do something else first and that is to reassure the
negative belief that it is not going to be subtly done away with by the positive
belief. (Negative beliefs are a living part of you and yes they talk to you
regularly and yes they too are worried about being sacked or made redundant.
They must be reassured that this is not going to happen and in fact cannot
happen to the.
Honouring the Gifts
That's an important part of the process I describe in book C as "honouring" the
gifts that the negative core belief gave you, in your childhood.
I'll summarise these here:
1. Helping you fit in with your family and make sense of what was happening to
you as a child as described in the
Introduction
pages is gift one
2. The second gift is helping you develop your "Compensating Skills" as I
explain in Book B and Book C. These skills have been a tremendous benefit to
you, but as long as they are only used to compensate the negative core belief
you won't realise their full worth. You will though, once you balanced positive
and negative beliefs. But in the meantime they are still a tremendous gift and
it was your negative core belief that caused you to develop them.
If you hadn't had that particular negative core belief you would either not have
developed those skills at all all not develop them as well as you have.
3. The third gift is empathy the ability to know what it's like when you were
someone else who has a similar negative core belief. That's a gift, and you
would never have been able to use it to help others if it hadn't been for your
own negative core belief.
4. The fourth gift is what I call adult humility. That is the ability to
recognize that sometimes on certain occasions you and I simply are just "not
good enough" and that that's okay. It's the human condition and nothing to worry
about. Adult humility is a gift but it can only be experienced by grown-ups who
have balanced on their negative core belief.
5. The final gift is the gift of balance. Let's take my own negative core belief
that I have no value. I balanced it with a belief in my own value, in a
rather special way I say to myself "The more I give my gifts to others, the more
valuable I really am".
Let's suppose for example that my positive belief had became over-developed. I
would be out of balance and I would soon become a pain in the butt for people
around me (who would then stop valuing me). It's the old negative core belief
that allows me to maintain a nice flexible balance between my adult humility and
my sense of having true value, whether another other people recognize it on a
particular occasion. That's the fifth gift
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